Meet the B Family

Dawson

I will never forget sitting in one of my college classes and knowing I needed to pay attention because it would be my future. This particular class was all about a mama who was raising multiple children with Down syndrome. I still remember calling my husband after class to tell him that raising a child with Down syndrome was in our future. We were stoked. Fast forward and 4 typical kids later... We turned back to God and asked where in the heck our baby with Down syndrome was. We were then guided to adoption and were called by a social worker that week about a baby who was born and needed a home that day. We were not even close to being prepared and had a 4-month-old at home. We were devastated to say no, but it was the perfect kick in the butt to get moving and get ready for our little one to arrive. We officially started our journey in 2019 and became an active waiting family with the NDSAN in February of 2020... and then the world shut down... while we were waiting to be chosen, we too had a covid baby. So, we went on hold again until November of 2022. 

Dawson's birth family is very private and to this day, mom, dad, and Dawson's bio siblings are the only ones that know what happened to Dawson, so I'm going to honor his birth family by sharing details they have approved for us to share…. 

When mama was early into her first trimester, she was hospitalized and put on a trach. She spent over a month in the hospital and the entire time she never knew she was pregnant, nor the doctors. Statistically speaking, mama should have miscarried, but instead, had a miraculous recovery that stumped all the doctors. A month or so after discharge, she found out she was pregnant and went in for an ultrasound to find out she was actually 20+ weeks pregnant. They had no idea. Due to her hospital stay, they did an amnio which showed Dawson to have Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome). Everyone was in shock, and emotions were high.

Dawson’s family reached out to the NDSAN in May of 2023. We weren't given many details, but we were told the family wasn't set on adoption and wanted to just look at profiles to see if they could envision placing their baby with another family. We received his information and instantly fell in love. We dismissed any hope of being matched, but still said yes, absolutely send our profile. Our profile was the 3rd profile sent to them and when they read about our family, they instantly clicked with us. In fact, birth dad refused to read any other profiles because he already knew we would raise his son. Mama felt the same instant connection but wasn't emotionally decided on placing yet.

Stephanie called us and told us we matched with baby boy Dawson!  I will never forget getting a call from Stephanie and her telling us we were matched. I am pretty sure I didn't even sound excited because I didn't think it was real. We had been waiting so long for this baby to be part of our family, and it was finally happening.  The next morning, we spoke with mama on the phone, and she let us know that she actually had not decided yet if they would parent or place. Our hearts were a little crushed from the rollercoaster but felt at peace and knew immediately we would be there for this family no matter what the outcome. While talking with mama, she explained that it was important to her to build a relationship with us starting now, so we exchanged numbers and ended up texting throughout the next few weeks. As her due date got closer and closer, we were confident they would parent and we would be aunt and uncle to this little one, so when she called and said he was born and they were placing, we were shocked, excited, sad for mama, and all the feels in between. 

Dawson's family did the most selfless thing they could ever do and eventually chose to place Dawson into our family so he could have more access to therapies and resources than they could provide, but the final decision wasn't made until 2 days after he was born. 

We were finally going to meet our son. We had 2 hours to pack the other kiddos, get them to grandmas, and catch a flight so we could sign papers early the next morning. During that time, we learned Dawson was born via emergency c-section from a severe placental abruption. He truly is a miracle to be alive. All the odds were stacked against him from the very beginning, but he is our little warrior. 

When we arrived at the hospital, we finally got to meet mom and dad and there was not a single one of us with dry eyes. It was the most heart wrenching, peaceful, most sacred experiences of my life. We spent an hour talking and becoming a family. They introduced us to Dawson and then he was officially "ours." 

Dawson spent 9 days at the NICU just to strengthen his lungs and then we busted him out of there and finally got to bring him home to meet his 5 siblings! When we told our kids he was their new little brother, they asked, “but does he have Down syndrome?" and when we said yes, they all cheered and said, "that's what we wanted!" 

Having mama place him in my arms is a memory I will never forget and will cherish forever. His first family is the salt of the earth, and they gave us the most precious gift. I will never be able to repay them for finding and choosing us to be a part of their story forever. In the beginning, mama and I would text almost daily with one another. Our relationship expanded past Dawson, and she became more of a best friend to me. She sends birthday cards to my biological babies, sends Christmas presents for them, and is always checking in on them. She came to visit for Dawson's first birthday and that was the first time seeing him since we flew home to Texas. I could probably write an entire novel on that experience and the different perspectives and emotions, but in summary, it was very healing, and we were able to hear more details on his story and where everyone was at healing-wise. She spent hours playing card games with my kiddos, snuggling and singing to Dawson, we celebrated his first birthday together; he was one spoiled babe with all the love.

Sharing his first birthday brought on a lot of emotions for me as well. I've never had to share my baby with another woman before, and it was the first time I couldn't say "one year ago...." because one year ago, I didn't know he had been born. That is not my day to share with Dawson, that is his day with his birth mama. I get the day we signed papers and boy, do we celebrate all over again. Mama and I don't text as often as we use to, but we are still consistently in contact with one another, and I share all of his ups and downs with her. We are raising him together with the love of two families behind him. 

You can never have too many people to love your children. I was blessed with a birth mom who had a very healthy outlook from the beginning, but she has also taught me how to understand other birth moms and help adoptive mamas understand their birth families and how to be patient with them. It hasn't always been easy navigating our relationship and figuring out what's best. There was a distinct time where I was not happy sharing and didn't want to share and I wanted to be his only mom. I felt so guilty for being so frustrated, because without her, I wouldn't have my son, but I realized how healthy that was for me. It showed everyone how attached I was to my son. With time, I was able to see that Dawson and I had an attachment that could never be replaced, and I realized then that mama also had an attachment to Dawson that I could never erase. She loved him first. He was her miracle. Mama told me in the NICU, "Dawson was always meant for your family, but I needed him to heal me and be my miracle first." 

There is never a manual for this stuff because every single case is completely different with real people and real feelings. I’m so grateful for the person the adoption process has made me. My eyes have been opened and are clear. I have a love for this world of adoption and birth families I didn’t have before. I was never “rescuing” Dawson. He was rescuing me.